see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Randomize
