Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize
