if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
