So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Randomize
