I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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