I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
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