i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Randomize
