Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
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