this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
Randomize
