he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
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