I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize