fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
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