But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
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