Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
I don't usually arrange sex via text message
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
