U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
