He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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