It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
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