Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
Randomize
