Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
