The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
Randomize
