Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
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