remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
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