so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
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