I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
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