Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
