And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
Randomize