Someone shit on the floor
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
