idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
I just want to make out with him forever
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
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