I CAN MOONWALK!
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
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