DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Randomize