you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize