threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
You're a waste of cheezeits
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
He? As in you personified your dick?
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
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