We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize
