My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
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