I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
Randomize
