Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
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