I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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