Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
