The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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