I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Randomize
