yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
