no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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