Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
