So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
Randomize
