if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
Randomize
