He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
Randomize
