addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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