I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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