you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Randomize
