and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
Randomize
