you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
Randomize
