How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
