im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
Randomize
