Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Randomize
