All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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