There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
