just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
