Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
Randomize
