Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
