I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
BRING THE BAGELS
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
