IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
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