Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Randomize
