i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
it's great music for shaving your balls
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
