I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
Randomize
