mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
