to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
He passed out mid-signature
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
