Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize