Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
Randomize
