So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
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