You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
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