I just made out with a guy for $7.
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
Randomize
