So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Randomize
