and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Randomize
