Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
Every concussion has its silver lining
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
its liver damage thursday
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
