tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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