ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
Randomize
