i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
