You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
