omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
