I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
Randomize
