Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
Sext me about skeletons
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Randomize