Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Randomize
