I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
Randomize
