Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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