I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
