i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
Randomize
