The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Randomize
