Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
im holly from the hills drunk
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
Randomize