the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Randomize
