You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??
be right there i have to get my cape
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
