..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Randomize
